FPs are delighted to today confirm that they have reached deal with the local council to buy the Duthie Park and erect a 25,000 all seater cricket stadium on the site. The deal will mainly be financed by the independently wealthy Gary DW Stuart and is the culmination of a dream born many years ago. There will be something for everyone in the new stadium, with a ladies only area know as the Mapplebeck enclosure, the 6 hitting Johnston Zone, for the best view of the maximums and the less magnificent but no less important Morrison Cover Drive Stand situated at the side of the stadium.
The Buchan youth development area will be sure to be a popular haunt for would be spotters of talent from other clubs. The trophy cabinet is expected to be relocated to the new arena, although this part of the development will be rather smaller than Stuart’s grandiose stadium plans.
Commenting from his cruise ship, Mr Stuart remarked that he had “been delighted to have avoided most of the planning rules in place by hiring his own well paid lawyers and is thrilled that the NotoDuthie pressure group have been silenced”. He refused to comment on if he would be a hands on owner sharing tips on legside wide bowling or not. Club Stalwart Roland Knudson confirmed he has been engaged in a 20 year deal to supply scones to the new arena and will also continue to buy all patrons beer regardless if it is his round or not.